Big Fat Legal Ego

I saw an excellent documentary this last week called Up For Grabs. If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend you get the DVD - coming out in April. Not only is it entertaining, but it also gives us a clear insight into the human character and what can go wrong when large amounts of money are at stake.

The story is about a custody fight that erupted over Barry Bonds' record-setting 73rd home run ball. Imagine you caught this million dollar ball in your hand, but then you dropped the ball, and someone else picked it up. Is it finders keepers losers weepers? What if the property in question could be worth millions? Still think finders are keepers?

Baseball has been called the Great American Pastime. I know one other great American pastime; suing each other. The loser in Up For Grabs filed a lawsuit against the finder. Not any ordinary lawsuit mind you; a ridiculous multi-year extravagantly expensive lawsuit. One that could have cost more than the prized possession.

I don't want to give the story away because you will be riveted to the screen as you see the greediness unfold. Anyone who has ever hired a lawyer, which I would say is 75% of all Americans, will be dying to see what the legal bill was at the end. Once you discover the number, you will probably laugh your butt off at the loser.

The moral of the story is don’t let your ego blind you to the realities of the situation. Just because you think you have been wronged, does not mean it is the wise financial choice to hire a lawyer to prove you are right. Especially when doing so may cost you more than what you lost. Not only could you lose your shirt in a lawsuit (even if you filed it), you could also exhaust your spiritual and physical reserves that could leave you emotionally bankrupt in the end, whether you win or lose.

I highly urge you to meet with the opposing party and try to come to terms yourself. Make an effort to take an objective business like attitude and remove the emotions. If you can’t manage that, then avoid costly lawyers and get the other party to agree on an independent arbitrator or even a team of arbitrators that can decide the outcome for you after hearing both sides of the story.

I have learned the hard way that allowing your ego to drive the legal battle is a bad way to do business. The best way is to treat it like a game of Risk. The opposing player has just wiped out one of your countries and is threatening to take the rest. What do you do? Stop them in their tracks by calling in the United Nations, ... well at least the Peace Brigade. You can negotiate a war settlement yourself. Pretend like you are a Peace Activist and just want to bring an end to all the destruction. Really put yourself in that mode. You will have to give up some of what you want, but in the end you can fly your flag and walk away in peace not misery. Bringing in more troops to fight will only cost you an arm and leg and you could still get shot in the face.

In the end you will win, regardless of the outcome, if your ego takes a backseat to your more rational and logical mind.

Whenever anyone asks my advice on filing I lawsuit I say: Don't do it. LET IT GO! And get on with your life! Frankly, most of the time it is not worth the time, money or energy to go through the tedious process.